All the World's A Stage
by anniekin7
Summary: magic, mischief, and bonds never meant to be broken. A/N: A series of oneshots. All stories will be taking different viewpoints.
1. From Parchment to Panties

**Disclaimer: All rights to J.K. Rowling, I own nothing but this individual plot line.**

**Enjoy!**

Sirius Black and James Potter were the worst students Hogwarts had ever seen. And admittedly, also the best. Best at marks, best at magic, the _very_ best at mischief, and especially best at quidditch. (Something they considered far more important than all the rest put together, except perhaps for mischief.) But they were also the worst. They were chaos and trouble personified in the forms of two boys, two best friends.

This was evident one cold, sunny morning in February, as students in Professor McGonagall's classroom scribbled down notes furiously, reflections of red and blue from the stained glass painting their faces. Except for one, Sirius Black and one, James Potter. James balanced precariously on the backs of his chair legs. He was meant to be keeping look out, but was instead tossing a nicked snitch up and down. Sirius meanwhile, was concentrating hard on transfiguring his parchment not into bits of wood (as had been assigned), but rather into something highly inappropriate. Something that would give James and him a laugh and maybe even earn them a disparaging look from Remus.

Professor McGonagall had already begun weaving her way through students and desks and floating bits of parchment (still singing, some were) as soon as she had seen the cheeky smirk on Sirius' face. She was spared the trouble of walking all the way over however, by the loud sound of James Potter falling off his chair and screeching "PANTIES" at the top of his lungs.

This was followed by a roaring laugh from Sirius, some sniggering, and one very angry Pamela Dodson storming up to Sirius and grabbing the panties all while muttering a flurry of curses in a general direction.

"Black, Potter, in my office after class. And detention for the pair of you, two weeks. You should be ashamed of yourselves!" McGonagall could not count the number of times she had said those words to these boys.

In her office, she glared down and Potter and Black's smirking faces, "Well? What have you got to say for yourselves?"

James and Sirius glanced at each other and smiled. "Why Professor, we were merely practicing…" Sirius trailed off.

"- Our transfiguration skills…" James jumped in.

"- Yes, as _you _say Minnie, practice makes perfect."

"Though we already are perfect James."

"Right, but I felt the need to point out our obvious talent to the rest of the class."

"Yeah, transfiguring parchment to panties" At which point James sniggered and Sirius tried his best to continue smoothly on "—is no easy feat."

This McGonagall could not deny them. The boys did have obvious talent. If they spent more time practicing magic and less time causing mischief, they would be top in class.

"That sort of behavior is inexcusable. 10 points from Gryffindor. _Each._" She said viciously when James opened his mouth to argue. "Now, apologise to Miss Dodson!"

Both boys turned sluggishly to Pamela, who having realized her wand was worthless, had taken to using fists before being restrained by Lily Evans. Lily was still clutching Pamela, who seemed ready to attack the boys at any moment.

"Pamela, Pam, Pammie. Now, now, let's not get our panties in a twist shall we? No pun intended, of course. It was all a bit of good fun." Sirius had gotten up from his chair and close to Pamela, touching her cheek as he spoke. Her anger seemed to falter. James came up on Pamela's other side and began tracing the pattern of the Gryffindor seal on her sweater.

If nothing else, the boys definitely knew how to use their considerable charms.

James came very close to Pamela's ear and with a quick wink to Sirius, leaned toward her and said softly "In our defense, Sirius did tell you to wear your nicest pair last night."

"So I knew what to transfigure my parchment into." Sirius grinned cheekily.

At this, Pamela flew at the boys, and Lily (after some hesitation) yelled "Protego!" before grabbing Pamela.

"You boys are vile creatures." She hissed viciously before dragging Pamela out of McGonagall's office.

"To know us is to love us Lily dearest!" James called out to her retreating back, his voice slightly muffled by the shield charm.

"Boys! This sort of behavior will not be tolerated at Hogwarts! I expect you both here for detention tomorrow, 8 o'clock." McGonagall glared at them as they sauntered out of her office.

"This is a hallowed institution of learning! Is that clear?" She yelled out to them. They turned around and grinned, Sirius even giving a cheeky wave before being hauled off by James.

McGonagall doubted Sirius Black and James Potter even knew what hallowed meant.


	2. Best Of

**Disclaimer: All rights to J.K. Rowling, I own nothing but this individual plot line.**

**Enjoy!**

"James James James James, where are you?" Sirius calls out to James as he clambers through the portrait hole.

Remus, who has been trying to finish his potions essay but keeps being distracted, rolls his eyes. Sirius hasn't seen James for a whole ten fucking minutes and to James and Sirius, who spend every waking moment together, that is like an eternity.

"Sirius, could you bloody well shut the fuck up?" Remus hisses. Sirius just grins at him carelessly. "James is upstairs in the dormitory. I think he's skived off charms."

At this moment James comes sauntering down the staircase, shirt tails hanging out and tie loose. As soon as he sees Sirius, he hurtles down the remaining stairs and hugs his best friend. "Paddy!" He yells, and takes Sirius away, to regale him with his latest misadventure, no doubt.

Remus watches them walk away. He uses the term "best friend" carefully, because while him, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs are all best mates, Sirius and James are the _best of friends_. He can see it in the way that they talk to each other, teasing words with love behind them. The way they fight with each other (as they are doing now. Remus dives out of the way to avoid getting knocked over), fake punches and kicks and sometimes real punches and kicks, but always, _always_ followed by a hug or a butterbeer or a prank.

Remus can see it when Sirius gets out of control (because let's face it, nobody can control Sirius, though they all like to think they can), and James is the only one who ever follows him.

Maybe they have a deeper bond. '_Something only two fucking prats can have.'_ He thinks to himself as James takes his essay to copy.

It isn't a big deal. Remus knows that the four of them will always be best mates. There isn't a question about it. Sometimes though, he worries about James and Sirius. Of what will happen to them when they are forced to grow up and realize the life won't always be Hogwarts and pranks and girls and your best mates standing beside you.

Right now though, he forgets about all that and joins in the fight, yelling and laughing and being best mates. And as he and Peter (who has joined the ruckus from the other side of the common room) circle around James and Sirius, he watches them stand back to back, ready to together face, what is coming towards them.


	3. Into the forest, again

**Disclaimer: All rights to J.K. Rowling, I own nothing but this individual plot line. **

**Enjoy!**

"Oi, Remus!" Sirius called to down to Remus from the top of the dormitory steps. "I'm going to try to get into the forest today. Are you coming?"

Remus looked up and sighed. The Forbidden Forest was, well, _forbidden_. They had been reminded of that at the start of every term, not that that had stopped James and Sirius from trying to get into the forest for the better part of three years.

"Sirius, mate, you know the hedge isn't going to let you get through." Remus couldn't understand why Sirius couldn't get it through his thick skull. The enchanted hedge had been put up all around the forest boundaries since their stunt from last Halloween. Now, no matter what Sirius tried, the hedge would just seal itself back up.

"Besides, I've got a prefects meeting tonight anyway." Remus said.

"Right, ickle Moony is our ickle perfect prefect." Sirius teased. "Peter!" He bellowed. Peter jumped and spilt his ink on his charms essay.

"Bloody hell Sirius, can you stop fucking shouting all the time?" Peter yelled. "And no, I can't come with you to the forest. I've got to make up the charms lesson I missed while I was in the hospital wing." Peter said, looking miserable at the idea of having to sit in charms and missing out on whatever mayhem Sirius was going to cause.

"Cheer up, Pete. I'm sure Sirius will be trying to get into the forest next week as well." James smirked from his seat next to Peter.

"Fuck off, Prongs." Sirius said.

"Now, now, that's not a very nice way to talk to the only person who might consider coming into the forest with you, is it?" James laughed and put Sirius in a headlock.

"Wh-wh-what? I-I- thought you were-you were coming with me already." Sirius sputtered from under James' arm. His face was turning a lovely shade of purple.

"Can't mate, I've got detention with Slughorn for the exploding cauldrons, remember?" James let go of Sirius.

"Fine, just fucking fine. You lot are all useless. I'll just go by myself and you'll see. This time tomorrow, we'll be having a party in the forest. All thanks to me." Sirius said as he clambered through the portrait hole.

"Or you'll just be in a shitload of trouble, _again_!" Peter yelled to his retreating back.

Sirius sprinted out of the castle and down to the Herbology greenhouses. _'There has to be a way.' _He thought to himself as he walked along the hedge. He could see the trees behind the hedge and almost taste the freedom. '_We'll have parties, and girls. And we can go here when we're going to get caught for a prank. Nobody will ever find us.'_

By this time he had reached the part of hedge that went around the black lake. The castle was far away and looked very small. That was when Sirius saw it. It was a perfectly made, circular hole that went straight through the hedge.

Now if this had been anyone else, Peter for example, he would have realized that there would be something on the other side of that hole, for it was far too neat to have been there by accident. He would have ran back and got James or Sirius or Remus and told them about it excitedly.

Remus too, would have seen that the branches covering the hole were much too precisely placed. He would have probably waited a bit and thought about it before going on.

James would have gone through, no doubt. But he too would have seen that the hole was not there naturally and would have been ready for whatever was on the other side.

But since this was Sirius, all he thought was '_I need a way to get through the hedge, and there it is.' _And without another thought, he dove through.

James was sitting in the potions dungeon, sorting beetles, when he first heard the muffled noises. It sounded like Sirius' voice and was coming from below him. From what he could make out, Sirius was yelling.

"James. Prongs. Prongs, can you hear me? . JAMES. JAMES. BLOODY HELL JAMES. CAN YOU HEAR ME? What am I looking at? Is this the inside of your pants, James? Shit James, I swear if you've stuck me in your pants, I will murder you. If I don't die first. JAMES. FUCKING LOOK AT THE MIRROR." The yelling continued.

"Sirius? Sirius, mate, what's going on?" James said, as he dug the enchanted mirror out of his pants pocket. "Sirius? SIRIUS. CALM DOWN." He yelled. He couldn't quite make out Sirius' face, but his voice sounded so panicked that James was immediately concerned. Sirius rarely even sounded worried.

"James, James. I found a hole in the hedge, and I crawled through it, because I thought it'd lead me to the forest. But it doesn't. This is like Professor Sprout's own private fucking greenhouse or something. And I'm stuck, there's a giant plant here that has got me caught and every time I move it keeps wrapping around me more."

"For fucks sake, Sirius! How do you manage to this to yourself _every time_?" James said, but he was already sneaking out of the dungeon.

"Right, where the fuck are you, then?" James said into the mirror.

"Erm- the far side of the black lake. Shit, I keep moving and it keeps choking me more." Sirius was mumbling uncomfortably now.

"Use your wand, you idiot!" James said exasperatedly.

"I, erm-dropped it when the plant grabbed me. Hang on, I remember this plant. It's the one Professor Sprout was talking about, the one that's scared of light. That must be why it's so _fucking _dark in here. I need-you-hurry-choking" Sirius was cut off, gasping for breath.

_'Shit.' _James thought, as he ran down to the lake. "Lumos." He muttered, walking around the edge. "Sirius?" He called out, twice.

"MGHMPPPP" Sirius muffled panic came from a few meters in front of him.

"Sirius, mate, I'm coming, hang on." James poked his way through the hole. The plant grabbed his ankle and flipped James face first into a pile of mud.

"Shit." James said, clearing muck out of his mouth. "Lumos Maxima!" He yelled. Squinting his eyes against the glaring light, he could see Sirius extracting himself from the plant, picking up his wand and muttering "bollocks" all the while.

"James, merlin, am I glad to see you." Sirius helped James up, and James could see he was covered in slime.

"Fuck you Padfoot. How is it that you manage to nearly get us killed or expelled every other day?" James asked as he crawled out of the hole.

"Oi, cheer up mate. You can't say it isn't exciting." Sirius said as they trudged back to the castle.

"Fuck off!" James laughed.


End file.
